family matters, minus steve urkel

So my brother works for a music entertainment company which has kept him living on a tour bus for the past few months.  However, this past weekend the show he was working was in nyc so luckily he, my mom, and I found the time to have dinner together for the first time probably since I graduated in May.  I've never had that family that comes home every night and hangs out together and chats about the awesome panini you had for lunch and the weird thing Tom said at work that day.  We all let the busyness of life win the majority of the time...all generally function on different and totally wacked out time schedules... and all always wanted chicken, spaghetti or just a bowl of cereal for dinner on different days of the week.  These kinds of things were a part of our routine, our traditions if you will...sitting down for dinner tonight however felt pretty good.  My brother and I are like peas and carrots (stolen from Gump) and I certainly love and miss having him around.  We were talking about the next time he was going to be back in New York and suddenly my mom blurted out, "Dan and Joan are not going to be in NY for Christmas by the way, they're staying at their house in Florida this year."
I can't expect you to understand the weight of this statement but just know that I could write a whole bunch o blogs about the "bon vivant" experiences I've had at Dan and Joan's house on Christmas every year for all of the years I can remember.  This is huge and shocking and sad and weird and bad news for my brother and me.  Dan and Joan are not even technically "family members" but because my mom has maybe 3 and a half 'normal' members in her family and my dad is foreign (so his family has their own very French Christmas traditions), D&J are those friends of your parents that you wish were actually your family and call them aunt and uncle anyway.  I still cannot seem to shake it from my mind which is consistently focused on: no but seriously, what are we going to do for Christmas?
This whole situation has me once again thinking about and questioning life's changes and comfort levels and traditions and what we're all "used to" and why we as human beings absolutely live for routines in so many ways.  Is it the end of the world that we won't spend Christmas eating home-made lasagna and drinking Jack Daniel's when we're cold sitting on the porch playing some strange game where my brother and I can use our brother/sister skills to dominate? No, I guess it's not...I mean there have been changes that we have dealt with before...like the first Christmas my parents were not together but both came to the Christmas party at D&J's and the first year my dad decided to move to Florida and not be at the traditional party and the year that I was dating Edmund and left early and missed out on a whole bunch of bon vivant at D&J's.  It's just weird to think about...maybe next year my brother's going to be in Louisiana with his girlfriend's family for Christmas and maybe next year I'll be living and working overseas and will secretly almost be happy that D&J aren't having their Christmas party because at least I'll know I won't be missing it.  There's really just no way of knowing.  It's weird when the same week you turn 22 on the 22nd and you're in grad school not loving it and you're having a sit down dinner of Chinese food for the first time in months with your family and you find out your Christmas tradition has been 86ed and you're legitimately sad.  Cheers to another part of my "bon vivant" experiences in the future involving being a bit more open to such changes.  My mom is cute though, she said: "I'll cook anything you want on Christmas!"  followed up by a quick "Well, maybe."

REVISED!

According to James Baldwin, "I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am also, much more than that. So are we all."   In other words, although who we are as people is dependent upon the circumstances of the time and place we grow up, we still have the potential to surpass these binding constraints.  We exist as individuals outside of what our societies dictate for us.  This is shown to be true in Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried and Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.  These authors utilize literary elements such as characterization and point of view to delineate this idea.

In Tim O’Brien’s novel The Things They Carried, O’Brien is both the narrator and the protagonist of stories that are inspired by the Vietnam War.  Over the course of his work, O’Brien’s character develops in a way that illustrates how growing up during the Vietnam War era influences the person O’Brien is.  However, O’Brien’s work also displays how as an individual, O’Brien is “so much more than that.”  Tim O’Brien writes, “…the act of writing had led me through a swirl of memories that might otherwise have ended in paralysis or worse. By telling stories, you objectify your own experience. You separate it from yourself.  You pin down certain truths” (158).  It is clear in this instance that O’Brien is utilizing his abilities to express himself through writing not only to comprehend his life experiences, but also to establish himself as an individual amidst such a tumultuous time period. O’Brien reveals in his work that he had absolutely no intentions of getting involved in the controversial Vietnam War.  As a liberal, he was modestly against the war and had a full ride to graduate school at Harvard when his draft notice arrived in 1968.  Although O’Brien sincerely struggled with the idea of going to war, even almost escaping to Canada, he eventually realizes that he was too “embarrassed” not to go to the war.  The circumstances of American society in the ways that O’Brien would be judged and criticized for dodging his obligations to the government pushes O’Brien to become a person he never intended to be.  American history and its involvement in global affairs made Tim O’Brien a soldier.  While countless soldiers did not even survive to have a life after the war like O’Brien, Tim O’Brien specifically utilizes his circumstances to become so much more than what Vietnam forced him to be.  O’Brien chooses to use his writing as a cathartic means to express and understand with clarity the circumstances of his life as a soldier and how those experiences impact and influence the person he is outside of the war.  It is through this character that we can understand James Baldwin’s statement to be true. 

Betty Smith’s A Tree Grows in Brooklyn utilizes narration and characterization to illustrate the validity of James Baldwin’s expression of what makes human beings.  While Smith utilizes several different narrators throughout the novel, it is clear that Francie Nolan is the protagonist as the novel tracks her growth from an eleven year old kid to a seventeen-year-old young woman.  The setting of the novel stays consistent and is a very descriptive and poignant representation of Williamsburg, Brooklyn in the early 1900s. Smith utilizes this setting, along with Francie’s personal depiction and understanding of a life plagued with immense poverty, to enhance the creation and depth of Francie’s character.  Smith also uses omniscient third person narration to even further enhance our understanding; Smith writes, “A person who pulls himself up from a low environment via the boot strap route has two choices.  Having risen above his environment, he can forget it; or, he can rise above it and never forget it and keep compassion and understanding in his heart for those that he has left behind him in the cruel upclimb” (147).  Francie and her family are definitely a part of the “low environment” that this instance implicates in terms of their economic status.  While Francie and her family never rise above this poverty, Francie’s character is developed in a way that exemplifies how she is “much more” than just a young girl growing up in Brooklyn before the start of WWI.  Growing up under the guidance and direction of two parents that never received an education, and one whose life was ruined by alcohol moved Francie’s life in a specific direction.  While Francie never forgets where she comes from for those influences and circumstances define her everyday life, Francie as a character also exists outside of these environmental constraints.  Much like Tim O’Brien, Francie discovers that her written stories are her way of creating realities that in turn help her understand the truths that define her own amidst these conditions.  Francie’s existence is enhanced by so “much more” than the circumstances of her family, time period, or life in Williamsburg.  Her inherent compassion, her intuition about the goodness of people, and her love for writing exists outside of these time and situational constraints, and thus validates James Baldwin’s claim. 

According to James Baldwin, “"I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am also, much more than that. So are we all."  Clearly, upon analyzing Tim O’Brien’s use of characterization in The Things They Carried, and Betty Smith’s use of narration and characterization in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, this statement is made valid.  Although both protagonists from these works are undoubtedly influenced and “made” by the circumstances of their environments that they are subjected to, it is also clear how these authors use literary elements to express how these characters exist outside of these constraints.  Both Tim O’Brien and Francie Nolan use writing as a means of establishing their individual selves in an effort to transcend what their lives and time periods have exposed them to.  Tim and Francie exist as “much more” than just faces of their representative circumstances. 

The Critical Lens Essay...grad school style? Not really....

According to James Baldwin, "I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am also, much more than that. So are we all."   In other words, although who we are as people is dependent upon the circumstances of the time and place we grow up, we still have the potential to surpass these binding constraints.  We exist as individuals outside of what our societies dictate for us.  This is shown to be true in Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried and Betty Smith's A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.  These authors utilize literary elements such as characterization and point of view to delineate this idea.

In Tim O’Brien’s novel The Things They Carried, O’Brien is both the narrator and the protagonist of stories that are inspired by the Vietnam War.  Over the course of his work, O’Brien’s character develops in a way that illustrates how growing up during the Vietnam War era influences the person O’Brien is.  However, O’Brien’s work also displays how as an individual, O’Brien is “so much more than that.”  Tim O’Brien writes, “…the act of writing had led me through a swirl of memories that might otherwise have ended in paralysis or worse. By telling stories, you objectify your own experience. You separate it from yourself.  You pin down certain truths” (158).  It is clear in this instance that O’Brien is utilizing his abilities to express himself through writing not only to comprehend his life experiences, but also to establish himself as an individual amidst such a tumultuous time period. O’Brien reveals in his work that he had absolutely no intentions of getting involved in the controversial Vietnam War.  As a liberal, he was modestly against the war and had a full ride to graduate school at Harvard when his draft notice arrived in 1968.  Although O’Brien sincerely struggled with the idea of going to war, even almost escaping to Canada, he eventually realizes that he was too “embarrassed” not to go to the war.  The circumstances of American society in the ways that O’Brien would be judged and criticized for dodging his obligations to the government pushes O’Brien to become a person he never intended to be.  American history and her involvement in global affairs made Tim O’Brien a soldier.  While countless soldiers did not even survive to have a life after the war like O’Brien, Tim O’Brien specifically utilizes his circumstances to become so much more than what Vietnam forced him to be.  O’Brien chooses to use his writing as a cathartic means to express and understand with clarity the circumstances of his life as a soldier and how those experiences impact and influence the person he is outside of the war.  It is through this character that we can understand James Baldwin’s statement to be true. 

Betty Smith’s A Tree Grows in Brooklyn utilizes narration and characterization to illustrate the validity of James Baldwin’s expression of what makes human beings.  While Smith utilizes several different narrators throughout the novel, it is clear that Francie Nolan is the protagonist as the novel tracks her growth from an eleven year old kid to a seventeen-year-old young woman.  The setting of the novel stays consistent and is a very descriptive and poignant representation of Williamsburg, Brooklyn in the early 1900s. Smith utilizes this setting along with Francie’s personal depiction and understanding of a life plagued with immense poverty to enhance the creation and depth of Francie’s character.  Smith also uses omniscient third person narration to even further enhance our understanding; Smith writes, “A person who pulls himself up from a low environment via the boot strap route has two choices.  Having risen above his environment, he can forget it; or, he can rise above it and never forget it and keep compassion and understanding in his heart for those that he has left behind him in the cruel upclimb” (147).  Francie and her family are definitely a part of the “low environment” that this instance implicates in terms of their economic status.  While Francie and her family never rise above this poverty, Francie’s character is developed in a way that exemplifies how she is “much more” than just a young girl growing up in Brooklyn before the start of WWI.  Growing up under the guidance and direction of two parents that never received an education and one whose life was ruined by alcohol moved Francie in a specific direction.  While Francie never forgets where she comes from for those influences and circumstances define her everyday life, Francie as a character also exists outside of these environmental constraints.  Much like Tim O’Brien, Francie discovers that her written stories are her way of creating realities that in turn help her understand the truths that define her own amidst these conditions.  Francie’s existence is enhanced by so much more than the circumstances of her family, time period, or life in Williamsburg.  Her inherent compassion, her intuition about the goodness of people and her love for writing exists outside of these time and situational constraints and thus validates James Baldwin’s claim. 

According to James Baldwin, “"I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am also, much more than that. So are we all."  Clearly, upon analyzing Tim O’Brien’s use of characterization in The Things They Carried and Betty Smith’s use of narration and characterization in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, this statement is made valid.  Although both protagonists from these works are undoubtedly influenced and “made” by the circumstances of their environments that they are subjected to, it is also clear how these authors use literary elements to express how these characters exist outside of these constraints.  Both Tim O’Brien and Franie Nolan use writing as a means of establishing their individual selves in an effort to transcend what their lives and time periods have exposed them to.  Tim and Francie exist as “much more” than just faces of their representative circumstances. 

Tim O'Brien meets Julie...again.

So I guess we all have those books that stick with us...those books that we have read in and out and loved nearly every moment.  Sometimes you can't even really explain why you love what you're reading, maybe it's the words, maybe the style or maybe it's just the way the words resonate and feel inside your mind.  I realized something this week... as many times as I have had this experience with a book, I have never read an amazing story and then years later picked up that same book to experience it again.  It's a fascinating idea when you think about it...something only you as an individual can sincerely understand: how a book that you love affects you differently at different points in your life.  This past weekend I re-read one of those books for me: Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried.  The last time I read it I was a senior in high school, barely making it to 9th period English class on a daily basis, and totally loving life unaware and dis-concerned with where I was going to college...asking me what was going to be my major was like asking me to figure out the bonus question on Mr. Chea's AP Calc exam, I just had nothing. 

As I was re-reading it, it was really so strange and beautiful for me.  I was looking at words I had read five years ago with the same eyes, but the literal and mental place I was in could not have been more different.  I noticed how I underlined things that moved me, I starred other pages, and wrote little annotations...it was like I was looking back at a past self and now questioning how I had changed and how I am still the same Julie.  Reading it this weekend reminded me that it was around the time that we were reading this book in my senior class that I was playing with the idea of going to school to be a teacher.  In fact, it was right around when we were reading this book that I was really trying to look at myself to figure out what I wanted to do with my life (because that's a normal question to answer at 17)...I started to realize that the only career I could imagine myself in is one that would influence others to read books and feel the way that I did after reading O'Brien's work.  It sounds ridiculous, believe me I know, but I swear to you this was the book that changed the way I felt about reading and literature and the capabilities of a teacher. 

Reading the book now, a grad student trying to figure out her bearings in nyc and in the world, it's a very different experience...yet somehow, it is very much the same.  O'Brien's words still have that inspiring quality in that I want to tell everyone I know and everyone I care about to read this book because I want them to feel and understand things about people and life and love and courage that I can say I understand after reading this book.  For me that seems to be the whole purpose of becoming a teacher...having a shared common experience over something thought-provoking and conversation that could potentially change the way you think/feel about something...connecting with groups of human beings for mere moments in time and being stirred by others' interpretations and understandings of a common text or idea.  What is more beautiful and more of an expression of bon vivant?  Maybe add a glass of Chianti (not in the classroom of course) and this is bliss. 

from this to that

Do you ever wonder about the transition between something new and something familiar?  I've been living in a "new" apartment with my best friend for nineteen days now and out of nowhere it feels weird to go home to Long Island and to think of sleeping in the yellow walled room that I have lived in for that past 21+ years.  When did that happen?  I walk home from the train on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays and pass the suddenly "familiar" sights...the madness of 34th and Fashion Ave with all of the stores and reminders of all of the money I do NOT have to spend, the countless restaurants with large windows facing the street easily facilitating people watching by both customer and passer-by, Union Square park market and my favorite Barnes and Noble (which my French father refers to as Barnes and Nobles because as French man he always unnecessarily puts an "s" on words that do not require an "s"), the Brother Jimmy's a block and a half away from my apt that is always packed and that I have yet to even enter because life is busy, and the bike shop on the corner of my block that my best friend bought a bike tarp from last week.  When did this become familiar?  This transition boggles my mind.  Granted, I still do not have a bed in my room (I am a bit of a procrastinator to say the least and don't necessarily successfully plan much in my life), but something about my living situation and new habits already feels oh so right.  I just started officially working in a new restaurant four blocks away from my apartment and while that has yet to become yet another "familiar" aspect of this new life, going there is no longer filled with awkward conversations of explaining that my name is Julie and not Joy (I think I really do not know how to say my name because nine times out of ten when I introduce myself people think that my name is Joy...thankfully it's not).  The awkwardness of not knowing what wines we serve by the bottle and the domestic beers we have on draft still exist, but slowly I see myself acclimating to that new environment as well...is there a specific moment that this happens?
This kind of questioning leads me to question when I will drop this awkward tension in my future as well...when do students and teachers feel comfortable enough in a classroom where expression and learning and discovery can actually happen? This thought progression has always been a lingering thought in my mind, kind of like a silent hum that I haven't focused much attention on perhaps ever, but it really is intriguing to me.  Does "good living" for me revolve around my ability to be a part of a habit of comfort and reliability?  Is this merely human nature?  How long does something last before it becomes old news and no longer something I enjoy as a part of a routine of my life?  This type of questioning leads to me have all sorts of relationship questions as well...which perhaps is a whole other blog topic but worth thinking about amongst these other questions...is there really one person in the world that can keep you happy and on your feet while other areas of your life transition from A to B at all times?  All I do know for sure is that monotony is not something that has ever given me any zest for life.  In fact, I think what I fear the most is I could potentially reach a point in my life where I see no way out out of a particular situation. 
Perhaps you are reading this and throwing me under a category: vagabond with no bed.  I'm fine with that.  I strive to love and be happy and challenged and experience as much as I possibly can...that for me is bon vivant.  I don't think an answer to any of these questions would suffice in calming my curiosities yet my wondering continues.  Ciao bellas.

Salut mes amis!

So I've been considering starting a blog for quite some time now considering I have a handful of witty friends who blog regularly and whose blog pages I visit often.  Yet, me being me, I have put it off for quite some time for a handful of reasons that range from there would never be one 'title' that would encompass all that I would want that 'title' to say (what a menacing box to fill in!)..to the fact that I am so far from tech savvy that I would surely run into more computer issues than I would care to handle. (My awesome features from my font to the background speak to the latter).  But along comes grad school and now I had to find a title and get over my constant battle with technology.

Bon Vivant...directly translated...good living.  The French phrase itself connotes much more than that however.  First of all there is nothing I love more than foreign things...whether it be languages, people, food, ideas, shoes, architecture, paintings, etc.  Also, being that I can say that at least half of my blood is French thanks my to thick accented father, all things French are a go in my book (fluency is half-crossed off on my life TO DO list).   Moreover, the phrase has some philosophical roots, another sincere passion of mine.  I did some research on the phrase and found that it's actually all things Julie!

On the surface, one could be satisfied with bon vivant meaning one who lives well and enjoys socializing around good food and drink (who doesn't?).  The lovely internet however led me to further complicate (if you know me, I do this pretty well) this understanding and connect this initial definition if you will with a body of idealistic philosophy called Epicureanism.  In accordance with this particular philosophy, life's happiness and most important pleasures derive from the meaningful relationships we maintain, our never-ending opportunity to gain  knowledge, and living a tranquil life revolving around basic virtues.  While essentially you can take a part that last sentence and ask a zillion questions like what's a meaningful relationship? What are the basic virtues? What do you consider knowledge?  yadayadayada...for me, it is pretty perfect: simply complex.  I think this blog will attempt to play around with these ideas, maybe even answer some of these potential questions and interpret 'bon vivant' through the eyes of an (almost!) 22 year old female waitress/grad student living in the lower east side of Manhattan with her best friend (recent move, woo!).

You should know however that all things Julie also connotes that I am almost certainly going to change my mind and probably won't at all be consistent with this initial proposed trajectory for my blog... :)